He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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