I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
