he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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