How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
