Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Vodka?
Forever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
