dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
