are you still at the devil's house?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We just shotgunned beers for America
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
