I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
