Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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