I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
