We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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