Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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