It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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