He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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