just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
