just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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