im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
