I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't put those talents on a resume
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
