i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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