we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
