Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This baby is an asshole
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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