okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
