She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
