i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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