i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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