She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wear drunk well.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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