Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
