gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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