Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
two words...techno handjob
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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