Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
