dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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