yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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