I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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