I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
