apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
