Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
