YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
