Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
