I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Welp...herpes.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
