I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize