im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
