god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
