Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
