forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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