You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
