We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
