I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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