so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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