why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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