good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
