It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize