**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
