Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
