Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize