Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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