i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can I color on your dick again?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
