as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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