This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
