soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
