Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How external is "for external use only"?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
