Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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