I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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