I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize