her vagine was all disorganized.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
