He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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