i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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