I have demons in me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
