I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
